Nobody likes a homewrecker.

You found me once on here and I hope you find me again because this one is for you.

I've been hearing wonderful tales about your misguided attempts at rekindling that lonely little flame you thought was once there with someone else's boyfriend. When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that nothing will happen between you and him?

He never had feelings for you then, and he sure as hell doesn't have feelings for you now. He wants to settle down and have kids with her, not you. You were just his last resort option when he was too drunk to care.

Now, I know you love him more than anything. But he doesn't love you back and definitely does not want anything to do with you. I know that may be a bit harsh, but it's something that needs to be said. I was once there too, and I know how much it hurts for the feelings to not be mutual. I'm not trying to be hurtful, but I think once you realize that things will never blossom between the two of you, the faster you can heal and move on.

But think about what you are doing. You are trying to ruin someone else's happiness to gain your own. Pull your head out of your ass and start living your own life. How would you feel if you finally found a REAL MAN that was worth your time, and some stupid ho tried to tempt him and take him away from you? Wouldn't you feel pissed and betrayed?

You need to stop what you are doing and think about how your actions are affecting others. I know that's really hard for you to do, because you are the most self absorbed person I have ever known. Sorry honey, the world doesn't revolve around you. We are stuck in this thing called life, and it's not always going to be a walk in the park. You have to pick your head up and move on. But if you continue to have a "woe is me" kind of attitude, then life will just be extra miserable for you and everyone around you. You're going to have to sift through all the bad apples to get the one worth keeping, but that doesn't mean you get to have your way with someone else's good apple. Sorry Princess, it just doesn't work that way. You have to earn the good things in life.

Your recent actions have made many people question you and your moral character. I suggest you take a look at your own life and adjust a few things before you lose any more friends. Or as I like to call them in your case- kiss asses. :) 

Same shit. Different day.

Hello Mr (or Mrs?) virtual journal. It is 6:14 of the AM variety. Why am I up, you ask? I never sleep. And when I do, it seems like it's for days. I have come to the bitter conclusion I am and always will be the cliché "Night Owl". Ba hum bug. I actually have to wake up in 6 hours and go to class, which I am sure there is something I needed to prepare for, like a presentation or something. But hey, it's the last week, and this is my "I don't give a damn" face.

Well. A lot has changed since my last post on December 14th. I re-read my last post, and I actually said out loud "I had a boyfriend??!" Yeah. I totally forgot about that kid. It wasn't like our relationship ended on a bad note or anything. I called him, and it went down like this:

Me: "hey". 

Him: "hey". 

Me: "So...I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Him: "Yeah. Me neither."

Me: "K. See ya around". 

Him: "Stay in touch". 

Click.

Which by the way, we haven't stayed in touch. And for that, I'm kinda glad, because boy let me tell you what, he was apeshit crazy. 

Oh. P.s. His birthday was February 27th. The same night me and my friends went out for drinks, at a bar that happened to be across the street from the one he was celebrating his birthday at. The Selfish (and I later found out, the Smarter) Me said "Ohhh, don't go say hi. You haven't talked to him since you broke up, it'll be awkward.." The Nicer Me said "Pish posh. A quick hello and a happy birthday never hurt anyone". 

So, I walked my happy drunk ass over to the other bar (It was around 1:30AM, so there weren't too many people left). And there he was. Drinking his disgusting Pabst Blue Ribbon Gnat Piss beer. The second he saw me, he had a huuuuuge smile on his face, and it was like we were never broken up (for him. For me it was like whooooooaaa.. you're still crazy!!) Anyway. At first he's all "Ohhhhh, it's so nice to see you." "You're still so beautiful" blah blah blah.. then..he went into crazy mode.

He's all "I still love you and I always will love you"... "You were the one that made my heart beat again, and I can't thank you enough for that" "You taught me how to love" blah blah freaking blah... "You have the most orgasmic personality I've ever know".. (wtfever that means...).. and then.. "You treated me like shit, but I still love you". 

Hold up. What??

Yeah. He said it. Look crazy apeshit ex boyfriend. If I so called treated you like monkey doo, then why oh why do you still love me?? Seriously. I always find the crazy ones. 

Well. Enough about that full grown ass man who cries more than it rains here in Oregon. 

WOU (My current school), is pretty much bending me over. It's a looooong dragged out story, but basically, I'm trying to get into the interpreting program, and they are making it difficult for me to do so because they want me to jump through a ring of fire, blindfolded, using only one leg and the other tied behind my back, while carrying a baby walrus which has AIDS. 

Ok, not really. But that's what it feels like man. 

I seriously need to turn my life into a soap opera. Or a reality show. Those Jersey Shore bitches have nothing on me man.

Oh, welcome to the 3rd grade.

So, my life as of lately, has been a bit of a setback. I feel like I'm back in 3rd grade.


I have head lice. Yes, you read correctly. Head lice. Like the stuff you get in 3rd grade.


When I was in elementary school, I got head lice 3 times. I just couldn't escape the little bastards, because they are back.. right before I turn 23. Lovely.


Seriously. Who gets head lice as an adult? Well. I was in the shower and just finished conditioning and ran my hands through my hair. And all of a sudden, I saw a black dot come out onto my hand. Upon further inspection, I realized it had legs.  W. T. F.


So, being the technological genius that I am, I googled everything I could think of; fleas, bed bugs, lice...etc. Well, lo and behold, that little bastard turned out to be head lice. SOOOO...


For the past week, I've been washing anything and everything I can think of... Bedding, towels, clothes..and vacuuming the rest... carpets, sofas.. etc.


I headed down to the local drugstore and picked up some lice shampoo where I was followed by a judging beautiful girl who worked at the cashier..her and her judgy little judging eyes. ugh.


So, I paid for my crap and got out of the way from pretty girl's judging eyes and proceeded home and followed instructions on my lice shampoo bottle. After that, headed over to my parents' house so my mom could pick through my hair for 8 hours (no joke) and try to get the little bastards out of my hair.


Needless to say, it was a grueling task and I never..ever...want to go back to the 3rd grade ever again.

I lied.

So, remember that fancy story last night about how I'm going to be a functioning adult and put my big girl pants on and go to the grocery story?? Yeah. I was being fraudulent (Hey, I didn't need spell checker's help with this word! Bam!) with my statements apparently. 


Instead of those big girl pants going on, I decided to not wake up until almost 4 in the afternoon (stupid body) aaaaannnd watch pointless tv (I was watching MTV, hence "pointless"). Then around 6, I decided to text my classmates and ask them what the hell I'm supposed to be studying for my final tomorrow. 


You know those times when you get super cocky about something?? Like "Oh, I only brought 20 dollars for tonight's meal, because I just know that my lobster and steak doesn't cost that much", or "I'll bet you a zillion dollars that Bruce Willis is sooooo not a ghost at the end of this movie". Yeah.


I totally had that moment this entire week. You see, last week is what a copious amount of college students refer to as "dead week". Finals are this upcoming week, so the week prior is not consisted of new material; just going over the final installments of the final. Being that I am only enrolled in two classes (non-admit student..whatever that means), I figured dead week wasn't really required for my finals and that I can just breeze through studying. 


If you knew me at all, you know I wait until the last minute to do just about everything. I once had a two week trip planned to fly to New Jersey. Guess who didn't pack her crap until 30 minutes before she had to leave for the airport? Yours truly. 


Soooo, you should not be the least bit surprised when I didn't bust out the whole "studying" routine until 8PM the night before the final. And, once again, if you knew me at all, you would know that my "studying" consists of "listening" to Friends for "background noise" while I "study really hard". My parents should be proud. 


Well, around ohhhh, I don't know... 1AM, I finally decided to stop watching my "background noise" and finally hit the books. It is now 3:38 of the AM variety and I like to think I am finished for the night. No, I don't feel prepared for my final, I just don't give a damn. 


Maybe I'll do my grocery shopping now? 

It's that time again.

You know, the time to be an adult. I turn 23 in ten days. I told my boyfriend's mom that and she said "Ohhh, you're just a youngin." So, does that give me permission to hold off on putting my big girl pants on yet? 


There's no food in my apartment. So, I suppose I should put said big girl pants on and go to the grocery store. 


You know what? I've accomplished a lot of crap in my life. I earned a bachelor's degree in Journalism (fancy that). I've traveled the world. I have even managed to keep a boyfriend for longer than a week (double fancy that). But what have I got to show for it? 


An empty freakin' fridge. "But Krissy" you say, "why don't you get a job and buy groceries?" Oh, dear reader, if it ever were that simple. Over the span of last month alone, I have sent out 30 resumes (Oh, who am I kidding, it was probably like 10 or something), and you know what? Not a damn employer wants to feed me. I've heard the ever so popular "Oh, the position you have applied for has been filled", or the great "Sorry, but we feel with your degree you might be over-qualified". How can one be over-qualified? Didn't your stupid sign say you needed help? Didn't your precious little craigslist ad say you were lookin' for someone? Well here I am! Will work for food!


It's 4:50 of the A.M. variety. I don't know why, but now seemed a good time as any to rant and rave about the ridiculousness of this whole job shenanigans. 


"But Krissy, you have a bachelor's degree in Journalism. Why don't you use it?" you ask, ever so innocently. Here's why I do not put that sucker to use. 
1. Journalists are narcissistic, agenda-shoving brats. Sure, they may quote their subject word for word. But they twist that little funny word called context until it has nothing to do with anything but what that darling journalist wanted to come across. You call that journalism? I call that bull. If you want a kick ass story, you make sure you tell both sides of that story there bucko. (Yes, I indeed just said "bucko"). 
2. In my last year of college, I took one beginner's sign language class. (more to come)
3. Once I was accepted into Grad school for said Journalism, I decided "Hey, I don't want to do this anymore", and I was off to find another bachelor's degree. 
4. So here I am, once more burdened with the simplicities of "school", trying my damnedest to become a Sign Language interpreter. 


This alllll comes back to me finding a job, while in school.. yet again. I think I might settle for less and apply at some fast food restaurant. Hey, beggars can't be choosers. 


And, if you, the dear reader, feel that your opinion on any of the subjects stated above is different than mine, keep it to yourself. Or write your own damn blog about it. That's what blogs are for, right? 


Haha, just kidding. 


No but seriously.


Well. Tomorrow I think I have to find my big girl pants out of the laundry and put them on. And then consider going grocery shopping. bahahaha. 


*Update* I did end up doing laundry today at least. Go me!